Motherhood Labels and Childhood Food Allergies

     What do you call a mom who is always around her child? What do you call a mom who is always concerned about where her child is, who her child is with, what her child has touched, or what her child has eaten? What do you call a mom who just sits outside of each and every extracurricular clubs/activities her child chooses to participate in? What do you call a mom who despite all the qualifications chooses to stay home and look after her child and be there no matter what?

     Helicopter mom, tiger mom, possessive, extra-cautious, impatient, distrustful, unambitious, and stuck in a routine… I have been called all these things. I am happy with all the labels because I love being a mom. I believe whether you choose to work outside, work from home or work for your home. We all are working moms. We all are trying best to balance our lives in some way or other. Some of us are fortunate enough to have a partner who helps out whereas some of us are not.

     Well I am one of those moms whose kid was diagnosed with extreme food allergies in infancy (4months of age right after birth).

     According to mayoclinic.org, “Food allergy is an immune system reaction that occurs soon after eating a certain food. Even a tiny amount of the allergy-causing food can trigger signs and symptoms such as digestive problems, hives, or swollen airways. In some people, a food can cause severe symptoms or even a life threatening reaction known as anaphylaxis.”

     Right after first couple weeks of birth my little one showed signs and symptoms of food allergies that included:

• Severe reflux after almost every feeding
• Slowly she started getting red rashes (eczema)
• Once she turned 3 months old she started refusing my milk or any kind of other food options. Instead of feeding every couple of hours she would take feeding once in 8 hours
• Weight loss
• Blood in stool

     I spent every conscious moment just trying to figure out how to feed her. She was diagnosed as “difficult to survive kid.” Her amazing pediatrician kept an eye on her symptoms right from the beginning and led us in the right direction.

For initial treatment,

• We were given prescription creams to relieve her from rashes
• Special soaps and lotions to take care of her eczema
• We were recommended gastroenterologist and allergy specialist

     Just 4 month old brave little one went through upper endoscopy procedure. With tears in our eyes and prayers in our heart, my husband and I waited for the endoscopy to get over and take our little one in our arms. Soon our gastroenterologist came out and gave us good news that her endoscopy was totally normal and we took a sigh of relief. But still the reason of her symptoms was not known.

     Next stop was allergy specialist. After a painful blood test of my 4 month old, we got the diagnosis of food allergies. It turns out that my little one was allergic to cow milk, wheat, soy, eggs, peanuts, and all the tree nuts. 

     Our very caring allergy specialist explained all the necessary steps to keep these allergies in control.

• First step was me abstaining from all the food that my daughter was allergic to, so I can feed her without her getting any allergic reaction.
• Prescription for daily allergy medication until her symptoms are controlled and later as and when needed.
• Prescription of lotion to relieve her from itchy skin and eczema.
• Prescriptions of epinephrine injection- that we have been carrying with us wherever she goes.
• We were also made aware that kids with food allergies mostly develop environmental allergies too (so did our little one).

Soon my daughter’s symptoms were in control.

     Luckily after a year, my daughter was no longer allergic to cow milk, wheat, soy, and eggs. But peanuts and tree nuts allergies still persist. We are taking all the necessary precautions and my little one is living normal and healthy life like every other kid.

These necessary precautions include:

• Keeping all the allergens away from home
• Checking all the meals she has, doesn’t include the allergens
• I make home cooked meals for her on daily basis
• Once in a while if we go to restaurants, we choose the restaurants that has high quality nuts free food
• Check and read the labels of whatever we buy very carefully
• Not letting her near the allergens
• Not letting her touch the allergens
• Not letting anyone touch her if they have touched the allergens
• Carrying epinephrine injection for her wherever she goes.
• Even a small change of weather, place or season initiates environmental allergies for our kid so we always keep her allergy medication with us.

     Now that my daughter goes to elementary school, we chose a school that takes tremendous care of this issue.

• Our school has nuts free classrooms
• Qualified nurses, and well trained teachers.
• There are other kids too who have about similar allergies.
• They have separate lunch table in cafeteria
• All the kids, volunteers, teachers, and staff always clean their hands before touching anybody or school supplies.
• We have given all the necessary prescription medications and epinephrine injection to the school nurse so our daughter is well taken care of.
• For before and after school clubs, extracurricular activities, and rest of the day I am the one who is carrying her medications.
• Currently in pandemic, we have chosen to keep her in the virtual option of the school until vaccines are available.

     It is not a big deal. Any parent would do anything to keep their kids safe. But it is not just my daughter who goes through this ordeal; it is my husband and I too. Right from birth, every year she has to give her blood samples for testing the level of her allergies. Right from 2 years of age she is been undergoing painful skin testing for allergies along with blood tests. We feel the pain too. My daughter is very brave she knows these allergies may not go away and we as her parents are brave too, we are okay with her not eating peanuts and other tree nuts.

     But these childhood allergies, all the symptoms, necessary precautions, painful testing has made me extra cautious. Yes I have spent sleepless nights because of this. But my anxiety is in control. No matter what I do, I first think how it will affect my daughter. It is very difficult for parents of the kids with food allergies or any other issues to just let go and take a day off.

     So yes I am always around my daughter and I am okay not pursuing my career until my baby is old enough to take care of herself or god willing outgrows these allergies. This is the choice I have made. I am blessed enough to be able to make this choice. So I welcome all the motherhood labels. There may be many other parents who have gone through the same or even worse circumstances. But I think every parent and every kid has their own journey to live. Why don’t we stop judging others, advise only when asked, and be kind to one another.

P.S. –

This article is meant for all the parents who are new to the journey of parenting. For all the people who get judged on daily basis. Especially for those whose kid is suffering through childhood allergies. Food allergy awareness is must!